Myth #4 - Being rude gets a guy's attention

(An ongoing series "Ten Common Myths Girls Believe about Courtship")

Many girls wanting a guy's attention will treat him poorly.  Remember back in kindergarten when a girl throws sand at a boy she likes?  Many girls still do it when grown -- except she does it in more sophisticated way.  It's easy to understand why.  She wants a guy's attention.  But she doesn't want to be friendly because it entails possibility of rejection.  So she acts rudely instead.  After all, getting his attention by throwing sand entails less risk than drawing him a Valentine. 

There's another reason girls do this.  It's what pickup artists call a "shit test".  She wants him to prove himself and see what kind of crazy obstacles he's willing to climb. 

For these two reasons, many girls adopt an approach to courtship that involves unfriendly behavior such as not returning his text messages, flaking on a date, being rude, etc.  They think it works.  This is a myth. 

This article is a continuation of the previous.  In the last article, I introduced the Confidence Principle and why playing "hard to get" is a horrible idea.  In this article, we go further with the "Fuck It" Principle. 

Most guys will readily accept the fact he needs to initiate, take risks and endure resistant or negative treatment from you.  It's part of being a guy in the courtship game. 

But like everything, there is a limit to what a person can tolerate.  If he feels you're being excessive, you risk offending his ego and his sense of fair play.  This is when a "Wall of Weirdness" descends.  This wall exists when there is a battle of egos.  Once erected, someone has to surrender.  If he feels you're not playing fair, he won't surrender.  And if you don't either, the game is over for both parties.  Is this what you call successful courtship? 

Rather, successful courtship involves cooperation on your part and ensuring the Wall of Weirdness doesn’t get built to begin with.  The best way to win a war is not to start one.  When he initiates -- you either reciprocate or escalate.  And sometimes, you initiate too.  Like training a dog, you reward good behavior and punish bad ones.  That is how you condition the other party to do what you want.  If he's playing nice and you punish him, you may trigger the "Fuck It" principle.  He's going to wonder why he needs to put up with this shit when so many other girls are around.

Going back to an earlier point, most girls put up a "shit test" to test how much a guy likes her.  Keep in mind that, the higher his social value, the less tolerance he'll have.  These are the guys who have options.  So ironically, the guys worth having are least likely to pass your "shit test".  Those who pass are low value guys, those without options, who will continue to chase and endure and chase some more.  Unsurprisingly, this is why bitchy girls often end up with losers, sex fiends, wife beaters and rednecks.