Myth #3 - Playing hard-to-get will make him pursue me

(An ongoing series "Ten Common Myths Girls Believe about Courtship")

This is a common myth.  A girl erects obstacles thinking it will drive a guy nuts and make him more likely to pursue.  People want something when it's hard to get, right?  Heck, even JSBach says so!  He advises guys to "be a challenge" to pique a girl's interest.

Here's where you've made a logical error.  Courtship strategies that work for guys do not necessarily work for girls, and vice versa.  Because men and women have different roles in society, evolution has carved different strategies and needs for the two genders.

The truth is YES, if he's interested, making it hard for him will likely make him even more interested.  It's human nature to desire the unattainable.

But here's why you shouldn't do it.  People are also more likely to take a risk when they feel a greater likelihood of success.  This is an economic law.  As such, the more obstacles you place, the more risk he feels, the less likelihood he’ll pursue you.  That's why most guys don't randomly approach girls on the street.  Even though he has nothing to lose, he knows there is dim chance of success.  Not to mention, nobody enjoys rejection, no matter how playerish or carefree he is. 

This is what I call the Confidence Principle, a dynamic can be represented mathematically by something like this:

P = i(c^2)

Whereas...

P = Likelihood he'll pursue you
i = His interest in you
c = His confidence that his risk will be rewarded

This means, while his interest is important, his confidence is far more important.  If you play mind and jealousy games, yeah, he might be more interested.  But if he feels fear and never takes action, you will never know.  Nothing will happen unless YOU pursue him, which I know most of you are reluctant to do.  Trust me.  If you’re the type brave enough to ask guys out, you wouldn’t be single or need to follow my writings.

Every guy has been in love with a girl but never had the guts to do anything about it.  And she doesn't have the guts either.  This is what I call Junior High School romance.  It's when a guy and girl like each other but nothing happens and nobody knows.  If you're OK with nothing happening and never knowing, go ahead with the obstacles.

Please remember this Confidence Principle.  It will be repeated throughout this series.