Rethinking - Watch your leaning

My courtship writings have always advocated the need to appear confident, stand tall, move with conviction and, when walking into a room, pretend that you "fucking own the place".

But I neglected to share one all-important confidence tactic.  And that is, never lean towards the person you're interested in.  This is something I've been guilty of, especially when seated at a table with a date.

In watching both seasons of VH-1's The Pick-Up Artist and numerous pickup videos on Youtube, one of the most basic (yet effective) tool in appearing confident is the lean (or lack thereof).  If a guy's posture is erect or leans back, he projects confidence, comfort, coolness and non-neediness.  If the guy leans in, he looks like an eager, needy and hopeless kiss-ass.  If you watch the videos, you'd notice that the difference in a guy's aura is utterly irrefutable.  It often makes the difference in him being well-received and him being rejected.

Picking up body language, no matter how subtle, is a remnant of human's prehistoric days when it was the only way in which people communicated.  Even today, despite development of complex verbal languages, most studies agree that body langauge is far more important than actual words when communicating.

Also, keeping in mind that you're likely bigger than the girl.  Leaning towards her may cause her to feel threatened or annoyed.  Think how you'd feel if some big guy hovered over you. 

The only time to lean in is when you truly can’t hear the other person (maybe she has laryngitis) or saying something private when others are around.  This does not include loud party environments.  If you're in a noisy club, don’t lean in every time you speak or she speaks.  This is called "pecking" in the PUA world.  Instead of pecking, just speak louder.   Speaking loud also doubles as a sign of confidence.  And if you speak loud, she will likely speak loud too.

One final interesting thought.  The less you lean, the greater the chance of her becoming attracted to you.  The more she's attracted to you, the greater the chance that she will do the leaning towards you instead.  If she leans in, BINGO!, that's an IOI.