Mistake #10 - Not getting her on a date

(An ongoing series on AF: "Twelve common things guys do to screw up with girls")

Unless you get a girl on a date, all that flirting and teasing stuff don't mean shit.  Don't kid yourself.  There's a human bond achievable only when people spend physical time alone.  Not to mention, getting her on a date is an accurate way to judge how she feels about you since it requires her to invest time and effort. 

Because dating is your ultimate goal in courtship, watch how you use the phone.  The phone should only be used for one reason: to get her out.  Don't have long text or phone conversations.  That's what girls do with other girls.  If she really enjoys interacting with you, she'd agree to do it in-person.  If not, you're just her personal clown she turns to when bored. 

There are two cardinal rules for asking a first or second date. 

First, do it early in the courtship.  She will think your invitation is just a normal part of your cool sociable personality and that you're a social leader who takes charge.  If instead you wait forever for that "big moment", your request will come off as abrupt, pressuring and weird.  This makes her less likely to accept.  She will not react well if she feels creeped out. 

Second, you need to ask casually.  This is why "getting coffee" is so trendy these days.  Don't use words like "date" or "go out".  Don't offer to watch a movie or a walk on the beach.  Avoid Fridays, Saturdays and other "special" days like Valentine's or her birthday.  Your invite must sound like a passing casual remark, as if you're asking buddies to come over to play video games. 

WRONG: "Are you free this Saturday night to watch a movie?
CORRECT: "Hey, let's go grab some coffee.  "

WRONG: "I was wondering if you'd like to go out tomorrow night"
CORRECT: "Let's try some Indian food later.  "

If she's unsure whether it's a "date" or just a friendly thing, you're on the right track.  Trust me.  If the outing goes well, there'd be plenty of opportunity to escalate. 

You might not even want to ask but to command in a friendly humorous way...

- "Hey, I have a craving...come with me to get something at Starbucks"
- [on text message] hey get ur ass out, i gotta show u sumthing

Even if she's interested, expect her to give token resistance as part of her
Anti-Slut Defense.  She might say NO, make some phony excuse or raise a fuss about the time and place.  Just react in a light and teasing way and ask again. 

- "Busy my ass!"
- "You can study for your midterms tomorrow"
- "Are you always such a pain in the ass?"

If she still refuses, let it go and ask again some other time.  Remember the last article and don't show anger, spitefulness or disappointment in any serious manner. 

Even if she agrees, you should expect possible flaking.  If she does, it might mean you haven't attracted her enough.  Or it might have nothing to do with you.  Girls are emotionally unstable.  They flake on guys, on girls, even on themselves.  You must accept unstable female behavior if you're to succeed in courtship.  This is why you need to cast a big net and be involved with multiple girls.  If one flakes, text someone else to come out or just go home, jerk off and live to fight another day. 

DLV - Hesitating on asking for a date
DHV - Asking for a date early