First of all, let's define "confessing". My definition of confessing is, telling a girl directly, out-of-the-blue and in a serious tone that you're romantically interested. Most girls will advise you to do it, that you should “just tell her how you feel". Funny, most girls who give such shitty advice rarely follow it themselves. She usually won't confess because she'd feel it's the other person's job to confess first.
One of my first posts on AF was about confessing and why not to do it. Here's the argument...
If a girl isn't attracted to you, confessing won't suddenly change her mind. She's not going to think "wow, I'm so attracted to him now because he confessed!" Sure, she might try to reward your honesty by giving you a chance. But most of the time, she won't "feel it" and all she'd give is one or two pity dates. Surely, you don't want a girl to go out with you because she feels sorry for your ass.
There's two reasons why confessing makes her less attracted to you.
First, girls feel most passionate over a guy when she feels doubt. It's a natural human response. On the forum, notice girls go craziest when they post those endless "does he like me" threads. I’ve never seen girls go all insane over a guy who constantly showers her with attention.
Second, doubt is effective at building attraction because she lacks control over you. In a social arrangement, the superior is in control while the inferior is controlled. As I've said a billion times already, your job is to give the impression that you’re her superior and a social leader. Therefore, you cannot surrender control by confessing.
However, you can't plant too much doubt or else she will withdraw, especially girls who lack confidence. Like putting a carrot in front of a horse, the girl must think you're still somewhat attainable.
Therefore, the formula to attracting a girl is...
PASSION = HOPE + DOUBT
Your courtship strategy is, always keep her slightly off-balance and guessing. Yes, you should show interest. But she must think whether your interest is genuine or whether it will endure. Most girls will deny it, but deep down, they indeed want guys who are hard-to-get.
Most guys feel the greatest urge to confess when things are going sour. So he impatiently throws a desperate Hail Mary which, ironically, loses the game immediately. The need to confess, therefore, is symptom of a bigger problem. And that is, he has failed to adequately attract the girl. So instead of throwing a Hail Mary, he should be a bit more patient and work on becoming more attractive.
DLV: Confessing
DHV: Keeping her guessing
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