Many people read my articles and other PUA/courtship materials wanting to know how to win over (or win back) a particular person. They believe somewhere in the deepest annuls of the Internet is a piece of wisdom that offers the key to unlocking her heart. They're wasting their time.
With some variations, the best way to become more attractive to women have already been discovered. While it will make you more attractive in general, it will not necessarily make you more attractive to any given person. It's impossible to know any girl's unique tastes and vulnerabilities to formula a courtship strategy for that particular individual.
If you obsess over one person (what PUAs call "oneitis"), you will have a miserable social life. If you cannot stomach the fact that you probably won't wind up with your first choice, you should go home now. Rarely in life do we get our first choice of anything. So you better play the field and cast a big net.
Just as bad as oneitis is the belief that you can attract a girl by demonstrating you're a one-women man. In her presence, you might purposely ignore, avoid or reduce friendliness with other girls. Isn't that what girls want? Don't they want someone to make them feel secure, that you only have eyes for her?
WRONG!
Remember, girls are biologically attracted to social leaders. And popularity is the ultimate indication of social leader. In fact, your popularity and ability to provoke jealousy is your greatest asset in courtship -- more important than your looks, money, education, or anything you can think of. Many girls may not even know she's interested in you unless or until she feels jealous.
Having your social value raised through popularity is what PUAs call "social proof". The following factors determine your social proof...
- The number of people around you
- The number of girls around you
- The attractiveness of your companions
- How much your companions seem to like you
Simply put, girls want guys who are wanted by other girls (especially wanted by attractive girls).
To leverage this dynamic, you need to give the impression that your life is full of friends, girls, dates, music, parties, clubbing, roadtrips and other social activities. You must give this impression by what you say, what you do, what you wear, who you hang with, what you post on Facebook, etc. Lie or exaggerate a little if you must. Just make sure you sound credible and not bragging.
If she feels you have high social proof and you can make her jealous, you're 80% there. If you act like a "one woman" kinda guy, it will actually lower your social value. This is one of many ironic aspects of courtship where girls say they want one thing, but actually desire another.
DLV - Showing that you're a one-women man
DHV - Being popular, particularly with the ladies, and able to provoke jealousy
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