It's a common theme in chick flicks. The guy showers the girl with attention. He is "always there", even in the pouring rain without an umbrella. He focuses only on her. He will return her call or text within 90 seconds, guaranteed. They met not too long ago but he's already treating her like a girlfriend. At first, she shows disinterest, even resistance. But eventually, he wins her over -- proving that persistance pays off, right?
B-U-L-L-S-H---T!
Rule #1 - Forget everything you've learned about love in movies and TV dramas. If you want to read fairy tales, I suggest you exit this series and hop down to the Children's section of your local bookstore.
I started this thread with this "mistake" because I believe it's the #1 reason why Asian guys fail in courtship. About half of the other "mistakes" revealed in this series will be somehow related to this one.
The reason this behavior leads to courtship failure is straight-forward. Girls are biologically programmed to seek and mate with social leaders. Social leaders do not kiss ass. They have better shit to do than always "being there" and returning all your calls. Altruism may get you into the seminary, but it will not get you laid. A man doesn't become a real estate mogul, a 4-star general or a powerful senator because he constantly elevates other people's feelings and interests above his own. Sadly, to succeed in this world, sometimes you just got to be an asshole and look out for yourself. Her subconscious knows that -- which is why, ironically, if you're a "nice guy", you signal to her that you won't be successful.
When you're "too nice", she will see you more of a plutonic buddy than a romantic interest. If you overdo it, she'll likely lose all respect for you and become annoyed (like swatting off a pesky little brother). You have to learn that a girl can never become attracted to you if she doesn't respect you. An integral part of earning respect is saying NO, standing up for yourself and not be some chickenshit kiss-ass.
The moral of the story is, quit the Nice Guy routine and be your own imperfect man, even if means you don't do or say the most perfect, attentive things. The rest of this series will teach how.
Playing the Mr Nice Guy routine may make her initally attracted to you, especially the less-attractive girls who aren't used to the attention. But her feeling will likely fade fast. She might even hate herself for not being attracted. "Why don't I like him?" Don't blame her. She's just doing what she's biologically programmed to do. You can't blame her for that, just as you cannot blame her for having a vagina.
DLV - Being too nice constantly and predictably
DHV - Sometimes being indifferent, disinterested or even a bit of an asshole
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