The Day Game strategy card

I've realized my problem with approach anxiety during Day Game isn't the approach.  I don't mind Mystery's Three Second Rule.  Rather, it's about finding something natural to say in those three seconds, something that can sustain conversation.  Keep in mind, during Day Game, you can't get away with saying something canned and retarded (like you can with Night Game).  If you say something remotely unnatural, I've noticed the set would have that "why the fuck you talking to me" look. 

So I need to remove the thinking part out of the approach.  And I think I got it...

The image above is a blackjack strategy card.  In blackjack, the optimum strategy is mathematically proven.  You don't have to think.  In fact, you shouldn't think, or you might deviate from the optimum strategy.  You just play your hand based on whatever the strategy card says.  Granted, the house will still have an edge.  But you will reduce that edge with the strategy card. 

I need something similar in Day Game pickup.  I need a strategy card where, all I need to do is plug in two variables (girl type and venue), and the card will spit out an opener.  No thinking needed. 

From my early experience with the cold approach and in talking to my female coworkers, I think I have a workable model.  For example, here's the routine for a particular set of variables...

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Variable #1 GIRL TYPE - Younger female
Variable #2 VENUE - Shopping center

[I look up from my cellphone]

Me: Hey, have you heard of a clothing store named Hollister?

HB: Yeah...

[Hollister is a store that all girls have heard of.  But it's not particularly common so it's possible that some guys have not heard of it.]

Me: What's so good about it?

[Open ended question, gets them talking]

HB: [whatever answer]

Me: My little cousin is in junior high school, right?, and she got her first "boyfriend".  So she's now more fashion conscious.  Well, I missed her birthday last month and need to give her a gift card.  So my sister says "Hollister" and I'm like what the heck is Hollister? So she tells me, it's just like Abercrombie and Fitch.  Hey, I know that.  So you think a Hollister gift card is OK for a 13 year old?

HB: [whatever answer]

Me: Are you sure about that?  Because I don't want to pay for clothes that are...uh...kinda slutty.

======================

Now, all I need to do is think up similar openers for other variables. 

GIRL TYPE variable - Older girls, Fobby girls, MILFs, hired guns, etc. 

VENUE variable - Coffeehouse, bookstore, laundromat, university library, bar, etc. 

For other variables, the conversation could be similar.  Instead of Hollister, maybe I talk about Bed Bath and Beyond.  Instead of my cousin getting her first boyfriend, maybe it's my sister getting engaged.

Once I can devise openers for other variables, I would have a strategy card where I no longer have to think for an opener.  And in pickup, thinking is the worst thing you can do.  It will be called JSBach's Day Game Strategy Card.  Yours for $49.99 plus tax.

Above the fray

The second week of Project Mayhem is coming to a close.  Although I'm still a PUA infant, I still want to share some early observations...

I work in a building with about 1,500 employees, 85% of them I'd never interact with, and most I'd never even seen. 

These days, every time I pass a strange face in the hallway, I would often say "hello" first.  It has nothing to do with being "more alpha".  Simply, it feels like the good, right and normal thing to do.  The in-field Project exercises are helping to slowly recondition my behavior for the better.

In the past, I would think (like most people) "well, if so-and-so doesn't say hi to me first, I won't say hi to her".  It's like waging a silent, egotistical battle where you don't say “hi” first for fear of being branded a social inferior.

Ironically, by saying "hi" first, I feel like the superior instead because I've risen above the fray of this irrational, stupid pettiness.

Lately, I've come to realize that, even with superb pick up skills, I'd probably still meet that special someone through conventional means (party, at work, friend of friend, etc).

That's not to say what Mystery teaches isn't valuable.  I think his teachings are highly useful and relevant in normal social situations.  Successfully approaching strangers in strange places is one the hardest social feats to perform.  We're evolutionally hardwired and socially conditioned against talking to strangers.

But once you master the cold approach, or at least gain some proficiency, normal social situations would become a breeze.  Just as, once you can do Calculus, Algebra becomes laughably easy.  If I can talk to some random person at the supermarket, I can surely talk to someone at a closed, invited social gathering like a birthday party.

Approach anxiety and the cold approach

The cold approach.  I don't fucking believe how hard it is. 

I am one of the least shy person you'll ever meet.  I'm the guy at a wedding shamelessly making a fool of himself on the karaoke machine.  At parties and typical social venues, I can seamlessly mingle with strangers (even very attractive girls).  You know all that courtship stuff I've written about over the past three years?  I've done it all.  I may not be a grandmaster, but I'm certainly much better than average. 

So it shouldn't make sense why cold approaching someone during Day Game would be so difficult.  As Project Mayhem kicks off, I realized just how different it is from a typical social gathering.  It's a whole new ball game. 

Approach anxiety is very real.  It makes absolutely no sense why guys would be so terrified of making random comments to a stranger.  It's just a passing comment, one that billions of people make every day.  The absolutely worse that can happen is, she responds indifferently and walks away. 

But the anxiety is there, like Mystery said, because of evolutionary programming.  The male brain is telling guys "don't do it, there's danger!"

I've noticed one reason for approach anxiety is psyching yourself out.  When you prepare to go "sarging" (the PUA slang for doing pickups), anxiety builds because you inadvertently make it a big deal.  The guy would take a shower, get dressed, fix his hair, drive to wherever, etc.  All that has a psyching affect, making the event more significant than it really is. 

I've also noticed one symptom of approach anxiety is finding excuses.  She's busy.  Not my type.  It's not the right time.  You will rationalize to yourself why you shouldn't do it. 

I know I'm new at this, but the feeling of choosing someone and approaching her in Day Game seems really weird.  Feels so predatory and loserish.  It shouldn't be weird because we talk to strangers all the time.  But it's different when you force it with ulterior motives.  The other party seems to have that "stranger danger" look in her eyes, as if saying "why the fuck you talkin' to me. " I feel creeped out myself. 

Needless to say, my first approaches didn't go too well.  I know it's only the first day, but I actually thought of quitting.  Maybe go back to regular courtship activities, those I'm already good at.  Relying on those activities will hinder the number of people I'll meet, but at least it feels safe and comfy gaming girls in normal social venues.

But fuck it, I am not going to quit.  I'm going to keep at it, through brute trial and error, until I'm the last person on Earth to be doing this.