We left off last time figuring out whether you're "in the game". If you've determined that you're likely "in the game", that's great! But that's just the first step. Guys will also find dozens of girls who meet his physical requirements. So I assure you that you're not without competitors. Being in the game does not mean he sees you as girlfriend material. It does not mean you can sit back and wait for fate to do its magic. It only means, a door of opportunity has opened. Your job is to get off your booty and rise to the top of the list.
The good news is, guys don't automatically go for the hottest girl. I assure you that your dad didn’t marry your mom because she was the absolute most beautiful. As long as a girl meets his minimal physical requirements, her personality becomes the make-or-break issue. So what kind of personality does he look for? Simple. He's looking for someone who's sweet, who's available, who's feminine (leave your feminist bullshit at home), and who seems to like him in return. If you can do these four things better than your competitors, you have a shot at winning the rat race.
The last part is important, the part about someone "who seems to like him in return. " No guy likes rejection, not even the most successful playerish guy. Mystery is named the #1 pickup artist in the world. Yet, he still suffers from approach anxiety. So imagine how terrified your average guy must feel.
Your job is then to lower his risk and to make him think that, if he takes a risk, you will reward him. If you play hard-to-get and silly mind games, it raises his risk. If you're surrounded by lots of guys, it raises his risk. If you're inconsistent, it raises his risk. If your Facebook says you're "in a relationship", it raises his risk. If you're shy and quiet, it raises his risk. The more risk he feels, the less likely he'll take an initiative. That's simple human psychology. You would think this is logical -- except most girls do the illogical thing by playing counterproductive games instead.
Lowering his risk is simple: take some initiative and make him think you're interested. Nobody is asking you to ask him out or do something outlandish or slutty. I’m sure you don’t need me to list ways to show interest. If you genuinely don’t know how, you are not ready for courtship (let alone ready for a relationship).
There are certain simple things you can say that signals interest while leading him to take an initiative. Things like "I want to watch Paranormal Activity but all my friends have already seen it. " Or "I wanna try that new Greek restaurant but none of my friends like Greek food. " These are leading questions. Hopefully, this makes it easy for him to follow up with an invitation.
Ultimately, you can never control what the other party does or know anything for certain. You can only play your best game and hope the chips fall in the right place. If after you take a few initiatives and he doesn’t respond, hey, take a hint and move on. Furthermore, let's face it, you won't attract or keep a "hot" guy if you're not "hot" yourself. So a bit of realism on your part is desperately needed.
We live in a brutal courtship world. If you don't play the game properly or understand its rules, the social marketplace will efficiently weed you out of the gene pool. Once you're out, nobody will miss you =).
No comments:
Post a Comment