"Hi, are you from Japan?"That's how Kazu usually opened. No cheesy pickup lines. Nothing unusual.
The only thing unusual is his fearlessness in approaching strangers and engaging them in conversation. He can approach a group sitting at the mall food court or the solitary girl at the college bookstore.
Most of the time, the approach is a bust. They may respond only out of politeness before giving give him a polite strangerly brush off. Rejection didn't faze him. It's all just a number's game. Many evenings, when I walked pass and peered into his dorm, I'd spot a new girl giggling inside.
Kazu lived a few doors down from me during my third year in college. From outward appearances, few would suspect he's a player. He's a short, stocky Japanese guy who dressed rather plainly. His face revealed a strong, angular jaw but nothing that would have stood out from a crowd. Unlike other foreign students from Japan, he wasn't rich. He drove a piece of shit Toyota Tercel and seemed to barely scrape by.
One Sunday morning, I woke to Kazu knocking.
"You don't believe what I found out about Lydia", he said as I opened the door.
Lydia accompanied us during the previous evening's outing to a Japanese night club. She was this unbelievably beautiful Japanese girl who looked like she just leapt from the pages of some anime comic book. She was also one of the random girls Kazu had befriended at the library. Although it's been almost a decade since that evening, I can still see that red miniskirt and black stockings pulled just above her knee, visions that I whack off to in the shower.
"What?” I responded, barely awake and sober.
"She works as a high class prostitute. I could have fucked her for free but decided not to. "
“Why not?” Given her beauty, I’m not surprised at her profession but surprised he didn't take the opportunity.
“It’s more like, not yet”, he snickered. “I’ve decided to take her to a friend’s party tonight. ”
Wealthy Japanese businessmen would pony $2,000 a night to be seen with her at business functions and for sex afterwards. My ordinary friend, without status, wealth or model good looks, could have gotten her for free. Not just one night, but two.
It’s been many years since I’ve lost contact with Kazu. But in the past few weeks, as I study pickup tactics, I'm beginning to understand why he had so much success with women. He had four things I believe contributed to his success: a muscular body, a shaved head, positive carefree attitude and no approach anxiety.
In short, the guy had an edgy attitude, both physically and mentally. Not the kind of attitude that says "go fuck yourself", but the type that draws you in towards his unassuming, confident coolness.
I've also learned that players like Kazu, who was ordinary looking, were the norm and not the exception. If you ask women to envision how a womanizer would look like (the type to avoid), most would conjure up someone like James Bond, someone good-looking, smooth and predatory. Yet, most of the world’s greatest pickup artists like Mystery, Style, Ross Jeffries and David DeAngelo would not survive Round 1 if GQ photographers came to town to recruit.
Perhaps ordinary looking guys fare better at the game because no girl would assume they're a skilled pickup artist. The best approaches are indeed those where the girl doesn't suspect a thing.
There are people like Kazu who are naturals, who can achieve socially without reading a tip from some book or website. But it's gratifying to know that, for unnaturals like myself and countless guys out there, it is a skill that can be acquired if the will or desperation is strong enough.
Perhaps there really is an inkling of justice in the dating universe, one that rewards merit and effort.
Kazu eventually had sex with Lydia. For free. Many times.
