My sister has been on speed dating. In speed dating, you pay a membership fee to meet 20-25 singles for quick, one-on-one sessions lasting five minutes. In that short period, you need to maximize your opportunity and bragging becomes a necessity. Unfortunately, most guys do the same thing in traditional social environments. He would purposely reveal qualities about himself trying to impress the girl...
- "I just got back on a very important business trip".
- "I'm an environmentalist. I believe in helping society".
- "I usually don't cuss. I believe people need to express themselves maturely".
Bad move.
Social value cannot be sold. A girl cannot be convinced into being attracted to you through your logic and advocacy. In fact, the very idea of you selling yourself decreases your social value. Bragging and self-advocacy are symptoms of inferiority complexes. Not only will girls consider you insecure, they'll probably think you're lying, exaggerating or have little other worth. Talk about a lose-lose proposition.
Furthermore, be careful about qualifying yourself. For example...
- "I work at McDonalds, but only when I finish the semester".
- "I'm attending a community college but plan on transferring to Cal next year".
- "I’m unemployed right now, but trust me...it's by choice".
In each of these qualifying statements, you're offering an excuse for something you seem embarrassed about. It's a form of advocacy.
When interacting with girls, you must never be perceived as bragging, advocating or qualifying, even if it wasn’t your intention to do so. Your words and actions must imply a "take-it-or-leave-it" attitude. She is programmed to equate this attitude with high value guys. From experience, she knows high value guys just don't give a shit about impressing people.
If you can't brag or advocate, how can you reveal your positive traits? Storytelling is one effective strategy. For example, instead of telling her straight-up that you love animals (which is bragging), you can reveal a story about how you once took in a stray puppy and hid it in your closet and how your mom got pissed when she found dog shit in the closet. In your stories, sneak in your positive attributes as if it wasn't your intention to say it. Girls tend to be good listeners and will likely pickup subtle cues.
As such, the most effective way for her to know your attractive traits is for her to think she discovered it accidentally, not by you shoving it in her face. What is even more effective is, once she discovers your positive attribute, you modestly brush it aside as if it's no big deal. Modesty is a trait of seriously confident people.
DLV: Convincing her to like you
DHV: Have a "take it or leave it" attitude
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