We've reached one of my favorite topics on courtship!
Most guys think attracting a girl involves being the perfect gentlemen and saying nice, agreeable things in order to "build rapport". He would talk on eggshells hoping not to utter a syllable that might put her off. Girls will often say they want "the perfect guy" who says the things that would melt her heart. Stupidly, many guys try rising to the challenge. Focusing solely on "building rapport" is a crappy idea because creating attraction often requires breaking rapport in order to demonstrate certain traits. Consider this interaction:
Her: I really like cats
You: Me too!
Her: I have three cats!
You: My grandma has two. It's cool we're both cat-lovers!
Here, you might rush out and tell your buddies how you just met a girl who's your soulmate and a soon-to-be girlfriend. You have such great rapport! But to her, she's getting bored talking to a doormat without backbone. If she can't respect you, she will not be attracted to you, or even want to talk to you, no matter how good-looking she thinks you are.
Instead..
Her: Do you like cats?
You: Can't stand them.
Her: Hey, I have three of them in my apartment!
You: How much do you spend on air fresheners?
Her: They don't smell as bad as you.
You: What a lame comeback.
Her: Are you six years old or something?
You: Six-and-a-half, dweeb
This is clearly not gentlemanly talk. Yet, this kind of conversational teasing is effective in courtship because you demonstrate alpha-male traits that girls are attracted to. In it, he shows confidence, humor, unpredictability, doesn't give a fuck and puts up a challenge. In short, these traits suggest a guy who's a social leader.
As long as you tease in a friendly tone and avoid topics that might offend (like her weight or something cruel and in bad taste), she will likely enjoy this type of playful banter and think you're a cool guy. However, don't tease all the time. Just enough so she'd know it's a normal part of your personality.
By the way, teasing is not meant to prove how smart you are or how good you are at trash-talk. You need to know the distinction between teasing for fun (good!) and teasing because you need to be right (bad!).
Ultimately, the ideal way to interact with girls is by treating her like her bratty older brother -- the guy who gives her a hard time but ultimately has a soft, protective side. Within reason, you need to speak and act as if you don't give a shit about consequences. Don't worry about saying something that you think might ruin everything. If one verbal gaffe really causes her to lose interest, she was never interested to begin with. There's far greater risk of you being too agreeable than being too disagreeable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ5QYeJo9xU
The link above goes to a video from some YouTube channel called SimplePickup. Their biweekly pickup videos demonstrates the art of teasing very well and is worth emulating even if you're not interacting in a pickup environment. Notice they have no problem speaking bluntly, even using profanity and mild sexual humor. They are definitely not getting phone numbers by being nice and gentlemanly.
DLV: Being agreeable and gentlemanly
DHV: Teasing her and being a smart-ass
